The Local High School Football Team is Ruining my Diet.

I have never been to a football game.  

I don’t know any high school football players. 

They are, however, making me fat.  You see they have to raise money for the team and they do this by selling little cards that have discounts from local businesses.  These cards cost $20 a pop.  I usually don’t take advantage of the bargains on the card, I just look at it as a donation of $20 to support the school football team.  

But this time I have been hit with a kind of bargain frenzy…Bruster’s Ice cream buy one get one free.  A free spicy chicken sandwich from Chick-Fil-A, no purchase necessary.  Our local Mexican restaurant gives me a free queso every time I wave my football card at them – EVERY TIME!   They also offered a one-off free dessert – NO PURCHASE NECESSARY!  I know I’m shouting, but it’s really free, I know I paid $20 but I also got a free oil change for my car that was normally $35. Apparently my car needs special expensive oil – I know, I know they can see me coming a mile off… but the point is I should have thrown the damn card away once I got my money back with the oil change, but I can’t ‘cos there’s free stuff on there – for free… 

You know the worst damn thing about this card?  It was sold to me by the son of my Personal Trainer!  When she asked me to buy one she told me about the oil change, not all the free food.  I kid you not this thing offers pizzas, whole and slices, ice cream, queso dips, desserts, waffles WAFFLES! Loaded chips –LOADED!, donuts, smoothies, burgers… 

By the time I finish with this diet I am going to be the size of the house…and my personal trainer will be stinking rich helping me tone up. 

damn those fit sporty types and their cards


1 Comment

Filed under Weight

One response to “The Local High School Football Team is Ruining my Diet.

  1. Chandalyn Pulmano

    Hee hee! I should have asked you to write up a sales pitch for Austin. He would have sold thousands of those things!! Glad you are getting your money’s worth…… :).

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