I don’t even know where to start with this blog.
My weight is back up to 172, although I made myself a promise that it would not go above 170 again. I know how to eat well, I know how to exercise even with my physical limitations – or maybe even because of my physical limitations. I even know why my weight has gone up and it has nothing to do with the eating out; eating in; not getting on the scales; not blogging. Well, yes I know it does, but recently I have worked out the root cause, I’m sabotaging myself and I think I know why. I can’t blog about it – at least not specifically and not yet. However I think it is a mild form of PTSD – maybe it’s not mild, maybe it’s not the right diagnosis, but wow…it really has opened my eyes thinking along these lines.
I think of myself as lucky – I look at folk who have terrible events happen in their lives, sexual abuse, alcoholic parents, the loss of a child and I know I’m lucky, but am I?
Somewhere somehow, I intend to write down things that have happened in my life that are frankly appalling and I wonder if the sum of them will be overwhelming.
I hope this is the start not the end – right now I am off to wash my hair and to put on some make-up. Baby steps.